


hugs can stave off the pain

by TurntechLoveThis (angelcult)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Literal Sleeping Together, Mental Instability, Napping, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23932369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcult/pseuds/TurntechLoveThis
Summary: Dave is hurting again, he hurts a lot but this time he has something a little safer and a little warmer to get him through.
Kudos: 20





	hugs can stave off the pain

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags!! It starts off a little rough (but nothing graphic ^^)

It’s the only reprieve that Dave has sometimes, when he’s scared that he might kill himself if he was left alone with a razor and his mind. 

“Bro, can I..” The futon was right there, and now he already has his Bro’s attention, off of his phone and focused on his little brother and now Dave can’t speak, his voice is caught in his throat and his nose is burning. 

“I, uh, uhm-“ Stuttered, fidgeting with his fingers and his nails (long, he always resisted the want to chew them) and now his face was red and maybe his eyes were starting to water.

It was one of those days where asking for help was too far. (It was always too far but now it was really far, now it was eons away).

Deep down, he thinks he’s also feeling unloved.

Unloved, and wordless and to top it off, he wants to die. 

“Dave?” 

Now Bro was close, had Bro always been this close? 

His hands were gentle, slowly moving Dave’s hands apart (he’d hurt himself and he hadn’t noticed, little pinpricks of blood, and how he needs to cut his nails before he does it again and worse).

“Come on, li’l man, come on.” 

Guided to the futon, rested in his brother’s arms.

He’s still wound up, everything is too-tight, everything still hurts deep down. It’s something he’s been trying for years to bleed out, and there’s always so much  _ bleeding  _ to be done. 

“What’s up, Dave?”

And Bro was warm, he was so safe-feeling. 

Safety, oftentimes, felt like a luxury that he would never ever be given enough of. So, in times like this, he tried to gorge himself on it, tried to make himself too sick to stomach another bit of his Bro’s safety and love. 

He wanted to be so sick his stomach burst, he wanted to throw up his insides so that when he died, it was with the familiar taste of  _ love  _ and  _ iron  _ on his tongue. 

“Bro, I just,” He couldn’t get the words out, he wished that he could, but when he slipped up and became wordless, Bro was able to sweep in and save him, save him like he did so many times before and will continue to do so many times after. 

“I know, Dave,” His vision was blurry now, he didn’t want to cry. “It’s okay, little brother, I got you.”

_ “Fuck.”  _ Dave whimpered when the tears flowed over and he tried to muffle himself. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Go ahead, cry, man. Ain’t no one here gonna judge you.” 

It was the last push he needed, crying harshly into his brother’s chest. 

There was nothing beautiful about it, he was in pain, he was in too much pain for anything about the way he sobbed and clutched at Bro’s shirt to be beautiful. 

Dave isn’t sure how long he cried, it felt like years, like  _ decades.  _ All of the hurt wasn’t out, but it felt easier to carry now, he felt like all he needed was someone to talk to and a pill instead of a knife and a coffin. 

The thought was still there, wriggling like the larva of some worm (a tapeworm, binging on all of Dave’s happiness), but now, it wasn’t as noticeable, less of a headache and more of a tap. 

“Better?”

“Yeah.” His voice was rough and scratchy, and his mouth felt dry.

“Alright, up, up,” Bro tried to sit up only for Dave to cling to him a little more. 

Sighing, Bro slid his hands beneath Dave’s thighs and heaved him up, carrying him the same way he did when Dave was only two and he wasn’t drowning in sadness. 

Back then, Dave was just a happy baby who toddled around with Li’l Cal in his arms. 

Bro was older now, and so was Dave, but he was still strong enough to carry his baby brother around, snatch a bottle of room temperature water from the kitchen counter and trudge them back to the futon.

He sat down and Dave didn’t move, actually, he hasn’t moved much at all during their little trip.

Glancing down, he saw that Dave’s eyes were pressed together tightly, sleeping peacefully. 

Bro chuckled softly, and relaxed back against the futon.

He supposed that he could use a nap too, if only to recharge after seeing his brother in so much pain.

  
  


Asleep, on the futon with the sun painting them golden and orange, a little bit of peace in their tiny world, at the very top of a high rise. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Here’s where you can find me:  
> tumblr: turntech-lovethis  
> twitter: turntech_loveme


End file.
